Drumroll Please....

Finally!!! Internet service and ultrasound scans all in the same place at the same time!!!

Tomorrow it will be exactly two weeks since Deanna was kind enough to invite us to come in during her lunch hour for a 3D/4D ultrasound to have a sneak peak at Sofie's little face. We had quite a time coaxing her to cooperate since she spent the first half hour or so sleeping with one hand and two feet covering her face. Since we know Deanna, we were able to do some things that you probably wouldn't get to try at a typical ultrasound. We had a fun time poking at my belly and watching how it made Sofie move, and at one point I even rolled over to try and encourage her to move her appendages away from her face. Until she decided to cooperate, we entertained ourselves by checking out and measuring all her parts: we're pretty confident now that she is in fact a Sofie and not a W. Orm!, she was estimated to weigh about 4 pounds and 4 ounces, and she still sports extra long femurs! When we were close to giving up on a good shot of her face, she decided to surprise us and let us peak at part of it. Following are five pictures of the side of her itty bitty face...

Clearly she takes after her papa! I'm pretty sure there's not an ounce of me contributing to that face. It will be really interesting to see how much she looks like her "first pictures" when she is born.

The following two pictures are more traditional ultrasound shots of Sofie's face. They look quite a bit different from her alien pictures from ten weeks prior!

And, just in case you weren't convinced that this kid is a spitting image of her daddy, I submit the last piece of evidence...

Just for kicks, a close-up shot of Sofie's nose and lips!

It was such a neat experience to have Deanna give us our first good idea of what Sofie looks like, and being able to have Kyle attend a viewing of his niece was pretty cool too. We had such an amazing time and owe Deanna an enormous thank you!

I just can't wait to kiss those chubby cheeks!

(I did finally upload the cropped belly picture on Sofie's 32 week post as well, if you're interested.)

First Night in Heaven!

Only we could decide to move on Thursday, go apartment hunting on Saturday, get approved for a lease on Monday and pack up and get the heck out of dodge by Wednesday's wee hours. And only I could do it eight months pregnant! Now I' m not suggesting that everything is pleasant and organized around this heavenly new apartment of ours, but holy moly what an efficient week!

As a tribute to that place we lived for two years too many, I will tell you that Ben informed me that tonight, as he was returning there to pick up his car before dropping off the U-Haul, there was a lady bum squatting down in the front of the apartment, pants around her ankles, peeing. I think that about sums it up!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I swear I have such good intentions of getting Sofie's pictures posted, but things have been so crazy nuts around our place lately...

Thanks to some volunteered help from our fabulous-ly supportive family (it takes a village!) and some pride-swallowing on our part, Ben and I will be moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky...er...the Cleveland area! Hold on to your hats because this place has two bedrooms! (no more sleeping in the dining room!) and central air! (no more sweating like pigs!) and a washer and dryer in the unit! (the end of my five years toting laundry somewhere else!) and a dishwasher and garbage disposal! (holy cow, what luxury!) and a garage! (what's that?) and the community has a pool and a tennis court!!! (and you better believe I will be pruny from now until Sofie arrives!) and I feel like we're moving from the ghetto straight to heaven. Of course, considering we just went apartment hunting this Saturday and have only just today learned that our application was accepted...and considering that we need to have everything clean and moved by this Friday, things are just a little crazy. This also means that this morning when I went to put the 3D pictures on the flash drive, that we've just recovered from the last place we misplaced it, in order to bring it to the student center so I could post the pictures here, I found that the computer had been dismantled and packed away in the wee hours of the night by my especially productive husband. So...rest assured that I have not forgotten about posting them, but also rest-assured that you will probably not find them here anytime soon!

This weekend the girls from my class got together and threw me a splendid little shower. It was also sort of a last hurrah since we've just finished our VERY LAST CLASS and will not all be in the same place again until oral comps next spring. We had a lot of fun with some unconventional shower games, ate way too much really tasty food and laughed a lot. Intentions were to start Sofie's library, and everyone was so generous with books and clothes and little baby paraphernalia including the cutest tiny emery boards you ever did see. The whole class also pooled their money and bought us our baby swing, which is, I'm convinced, the coolest swing ever invented. I was so overwhelmed by the generosity of this group of penny-pinching career-college folks...I can't wait to share Sofie with them!

My enormous family shower is coming up this Saturday and it's always fun to get the cackling hens together. I can't believe all this is happening already. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday that we were surprised by two pink lines. So much has changed in the last eight months, and the next eight are sure to bring exponential changes with them. I am hopeful, excited and terrified all at once!

Sofie's Spot 32 Weeks

Here we are at 32 weeks. Sofie made me eat too many minty cookies this month and so it's totally her fault that I gained another ten pounds. Yup...ten...that means I'm up 38.5 pounds, officially over the recommended weight gain for the entire pregnancy, with eight weeks left to go. Hmph. I'm trying very hard to ignore the extra chub hanging out on my thighs and upper arms and daydreaming about the postpartum updates in which I will tell you how many pounds up Sofie is and how many pounds down I am rather than up. Sofie's movements have slowed down a bit this month, probably because it's getting awfully tight in there. I still feel her bopping around, but not with the same gusto she had just a month ago. I'm starting to slow down too and getting more and more uncomfortable, especially in the heat. We only have one ancient window air conditioner that barely keeps the kitchen cool, and it obviously isn't sufficient for pregnant lady sweats. Also, I never realized that when pregnant ladies say that it's hard for them to bend over, it isn't just maneuvering the massive belly that's getting in their way that they're complaining about. It is actually painful to bend over because doing so causes the baby to smash into some organ or another, and you can imagine how comfortable that is!

This has been an incredibly stressful month for Ben and I. Ben is still looking for a job and we are quickly running out of cash. If something doesn't work out very very soon we're facing not having enough money available to cover our bills for August. That's right...August. You know, that month when we're supposed to be bringing home our first child. So you can imagine that I'm freaking out just a wee bit. We had hoped to be moving right around this time, and obviously those plans have fallen through as well. I've been pretty down and very bitter that I'm allowing these annoyances to rob me of the joys I should be feeling over bringing a precious little life into the world. Then again, I've never done anything the easy way. There's no need to start now...

Here are a few extra photos. The one on the bottom was the first time I saw what my belly looks like when I lay down and I happen to think it is ridiculously cool.

I also have some awesome scans to post from the 3D ultrasound that Deanna graciously had us in for on Friday as soon as I can manage to coordinate my technologies. I'll just tease you with the information that this kiddo definitely takes after her father...

BOOBS!!

Or...

More Than You Ever Cared to Know About My Boobs and Why I Hate Them!!

You've been warned.

Those of you who've known me for awhile can attest that in earlier years pregnancy was fascinating to me. When I was in high school I made some abstract pregnant lady sculptures out of clay and bought the coffee table book, "Pregnant Goddesshood" which is filled with portraits of funky pregnant ladies. I always thought that I'd absolutely adore being pregnant, embrace the changes in my body that meant that I was creating a new life and bare my belly with pride.

I was so wrong!

My body image has suffered a horrendous blow through this whole stretching and growing ordeal. I have never had major self esteem issues (sure everyone feels ugly and bloated from time to time, but overall no big problems) until now. These days are complete with loads of negative feelings about my body. Recently, especially, as I have grown out of a lot of the maternity clothes that I have (GROWN OUT OF MATERNITY CLOTHES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!) and I've been shopping for some "professional" clothes to wear for the bloated month and a half that I'll be in clinic before Sofie is born. Who knew shopping for maternity clothes could be so depressing. I am blaming the majority of the disgust that I feel when I envision myself in the mirror trying to make a decision on the lesser of the evil outfit, on my new boobs.

Boobs. In the midst of puberty and beyond, the bane of many youthful girls' existence. I've been fortunate to never really have much of a boob complex either. My boobs were (WERE!) not too small and not too big, pleasantly pink and acceptably perky. Sure, I sometimes envied the girls who could get away with sleeveless and spaghetti strapped shirts and sundresses without worrying about hiding pesky bra straps, but all in all I felt pretty decent about my set. I wish someone had told me, at the beginning of this pregnancy, to spend some quality time appreciating my boobs. I'm quite confident that they will never (NEVER!) be the same again.

These new enormous and misshapen monsters have abandoned their pink perkiness and turned dark and splotchy. They flop and sweat in ways they never knew before and I guarantee they are not pleasant to behold. I'm sure that they're the culprit in my need for increasingly large shirts, and they make tops that would otherwise be pretty darn cute look ridiculous. I'm also quite sure that added boob weight makes me appear much more swollen and whale-like than I otherwise would. And...surprise surprise, blimpiness was not so much the look I was hoping to achieve during pregnancy.

I can only imagine the changes these boobs have yet to make. Needless to say, I am NOT looking forward to experiencing them, and further I am quite depressed about the quite real possibility that I may be stuck with these horrendous boobs, or something even worse (GASP!) for the rest of my life.

This body, it is not my own. And, whoever you are out there who sneakily traded me this one... It's been lovely, but could I please have mine back now?! Pretty please?!

Hmph.

All Clear

Just a short post to say...

I had an OB appointment today during which the midwife assured me that I have not dilated any more, that there's absolutely nothing wrong with the amount of dilation that has already occurred at this stage in the pregnancy, and that I have no reason to worry that this kiddo won't stay safe and sound until I'm so overly ready for her to vacate!

Huge sigh of relief...and back to life as normal!

A Little Bit of a Scare...

...and possibly a little too much information if you're squeamish, just a warning!

Tuesday afternoon I went to the bathroom and noticed a dime sized blood clot when I wiped. I wiped again and there was another. I immediately called my OB practice who had approximately six thousand questions to ask before deciding not to send me to the ER (I guess I passed!) but said that they would like to see me in the office this morning as a precaution.

So I had an appointment this morning at nine. I went in a little bit nervous, but expecting everything would be just fine, especially since I was having absolutely no other strange symptoms. They listened to Sofie's heart and measured my belly just like they always do...pass and pass. Then they did an internal exam to make sure that there was nothing unusual going on in my nether regions (and holy hell is that ever uncomfortable!) Unfortunately they discovered that I am starting to dilate. The midwife was able to put her entire (relatively small) finger through my cervix (and oy did I mention the discomfort?) So...that started a bit of an adventure.

They collected a swab to send in for a fetal fibronectin test, which is a test that can determine if there is an increased risk of starting labor within the next two weeks, and then they hooked me up to a monitor for awhile to make sure that Sofie was moving and sounding good and that I was not having regular contractions. They monitored me for about half an hour. Sofie bopped around as she always does and everything looked super. I did have one Braxton Hicks contraction, but nothing unusual, timeable or regular. So they sent me home with instructions to take it easy and told me they'd call when they got the results back from the swab.

So we spent a few hours tensely googling preterm labor, the benefits and risks of corticosteroids (used for maturing preemie lungs) and tocolytic agents (used for delaying labor) before the phone call that fantastically assured us that the test had come back negative. It is 99% accurate at predicting that I will not go into labor within the next two weeks. So that's a relief!

We don't know why I've started to dilate. It's possible that it's just a variation that is perfectly normal for my body. They'll keep a close eye on me, probably do more of those uncomfortable exams at my upcoming appointments and possibly repeat the fetal fibronectin test in a couple of weeks. In the meantime we are relieved not to be preparing ourselves for an early delivery and wondering if our little worm has a bit of a morbid sense of humor!

Sofie's Spot 28 Weeks!!

Oh my! Would someone please tell my bottom that it had better let a few pounds settle on it in order to balance the belly?! I'm officially part of the third trimester club and up another three pounds this month bringing my grand total to 28.5. This month I can see the bottom of my belly button, which is very strange. It hasn't popped out yet, but it is slowly becoming more and more shallow. I imagine by my 32 week post it will be a goner! Sofie continues to be a very active little booger and her movements are quite obvious now. I was really sick at the beginning of the week and I fell asleep spooning Ben. He said he couldn't believe that I could sleep through her constant kicking. He could feel it on his back! I had the dreaded glucose test at my appointment on Friday and it really wasn't so bad. I haven't heard the test results yet, but I'll just assume that no news is a good thing! My appointments are now scheduled for every two weeks until I hit 36 weeks at which point they will be weekly. I can't believe that in a mere 12 weeks we're going to meet this little individual. It seems like the time just keeps flying by.

On May 12th Ben graduated cum laude with two BA's, one in Psychology and one in Philosophy. It was so wonderful to see him finally accomplish such a big goal. He had been really looking forward to graduation for a very long time, and I was so happy to play the role of the proud wife grinning up in the nosebleed seats. Congratulations Pea-Pie! I'm so proud of you!

My clinic placement for next year, the final piece of my education puzzle, has finally been confirmed which is quite a relief! I'll start my first rotation on July 2nd and continue until Sofie decides it's time to greet us or August 17th, whichever comes first. Then I will have time off until October 15th at which time I will return three days a week until December when I will resume full-time status. It's going to be a crazy busy year, but it's also going to allow me to graduate on time with the rest of my class, and that means that Ben can pursue graduate studies next year if he chooses to, rather than waiting for two full years to continue. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I'm very excited about the placement. When I discovered I was pregnant I was convinced that I had spoiled my opportunity to go to this particular site. I'm thrilled that I was wrong and so grateful that they've been willing to work with me. I think it will be an excellent opportunity for me to learn so much, and will hopefully open some doors for me somewhere down the road. But I'm also very sad to be leaving Sofie at such a young age and working so many extra hours during a time when she is growing and changing so fast. It's a bittersweet decision and one that I hope I won't regret in the future.

I had a wonderful weekend catching up with some old friends. There's something about old friends that just can't be recreated with new ones. I had a great time reminiscing and it's always fun to hear about struggles and successes and realize just how far we've really come...how much we've grown up. I just can't believe I'm grown enough to be somebody's mama!

Ben has two interviews scheduled for tomorrow. Everyone please keep your fingers collectively crossed! One of the jobs would be an excellent place for him and would give him some great experience to put on his grad school applications. I'm afraid to get too excited about it. What are the chances of someone getting the first job that they interview for?!? But a girl can hope, right? If we can get all our ducks in a row we'd like to move before the end of June. Regardless of whether we're moving or staying put, we will be losing our internet service temporarily sometime in the next couple of weeks. I still have access to plenty of computers at the University, but if my posts are few and far between you'll understand why...

Bum Stories

I've been a little lax lately with the bum updates. It's finally getting warm outside and they're coming out of hibernation, migrating back from the warmer states if you will. We've had a couple of amusing run-ins with the bums lately.

First, the bums love to congregate behind our apartment where there is a little ledge. They hang out there, drink their beer and have a good old time. The other day Ben came down the back steps and spied a bum sitting there with his alcohol. The bum said, "You don't mind that we sit out here do you?" and Ben said, "Well actually, I kind of do, but don't worry about it." So the bum said, "Well, you want me to clean up? I'll clean up..." and proceeded to pick up the mountain of trash that has accumulated from their empty beer bottles and fast food bags (as if there wasn't a dumpster less than twenty feet away...ugh!) Ben wandered off muttering, "You don't have to do that, it's ok..." Seriously?! We should just start calling the police and get them arrested for open containers.

We've been working on packing up some "stuff" around here to make room for the baby. (Soon I'll have some before and after pictures to share with you from our computer room/closet space!) Today mom came up to take some of our boxes back down to her house to store in the basement. Unfortunately, not everything fit in the car, so we decided to pitch a chair that we weren't planning on keeping anyway. Very opportunely, a bum happened by and wanted to know how much we wanted for another chair we were trying to shove in the trunk. We told him that it wasn't for sale, but that he was welcome to have the rejected chair free. He was very pleased and proceeded to talk our ears off for a good fifteen minutes as we tried to escape. I even got suckered into hugging him.

I am incapable of stressing just how much we want to get out of this place before Sofie joins us. I can't even imagine the attention a new baby will attract, not to mention what an easy target we'll become. Ben's job search has still not produced any results yet. It is getting kicked into high gear now that he doesn't have any distractions. Cross your fingers that he finds something soon!!!

Of Nothing in Particular

So, guess what I did today...

I took my last final for my last semester class EVER!

Sure I still have one five week summer course, and I have to finish my research project and pass my written and oral comps, and then there's that whole year of externing...

...but somehow, this feels like a huge bittersweet milestone. I'm almost done folks!!!

In completely unrelated news, I went for an echocardiogram yesterday (before you freak out, it's really no big deal...I've been having some minor heart palpitations, and they are just being ridiculously and annoyingly thorough ruling out anything major) and the ultrasound tech unexpectedly let me take a little peek at Sofie! It was a very brief and very very unclear peek, but I did manage to surmise that she's looking an awful lot more scrunched these days than she did a month ago, and she was reflexively sucking, so that was kind of fun to see! My little inner cheerleader was going, "Woohoo Sofie! Keep on sucking...you'll be a champion breastfeeder in no time!" (It's embarrassing what kind of strange maternal thoughts have been creeping into my head lately!)

Ben and I had our first Bradley method class on Monday night, which was very interesting. I think we're going to learn a lot of useful information, and since one of the major tenets is relaxation I think Ben will be giving his fair share of massages these next few months. I've never been so excited to do my 'homework' in my entire life!

Lastly, my cell phone, er...actually a cheap old used replacement, is finally back in working order. After a couple of rather annoying incidents I decided it was time to rejoin the land of the connected. Unfortunately, I lost all of my contacts when my old phone decided to take a dump. So, if you ever want me to call you again, you'll need to give me a call and remind me what your phone number is. If, however, you'd prefer to remain in cell-phone hater mode and just continue to write e-mails instead, that is more than just alright by me!